HR1981 in Rome - A Report to the Class
“Rome was not built in a day.”
“Build it and they will come.”
Roughly twenty-six centuries after Romulus first put spade to earth, the class of 1981 came to Rome. Evidently, by 2022 enough building had been accomplished to warrant a visit.
While no formal survey of attendees has been undertaken, the general assessment of the Rome event seems to be that classmates had a wonderful time. With success now behind us, I have been asked by Susan Israel to report my thoughts on lessons learned with the intention of assisting all who might in future undertake a similar reunion project.
Lesson #1: Be sure of your invitation
It really was a special blessing to be invited to Rome by Marco Elser. If you have to say a few things about Marco say he loves Italy, loves Harvard, loves life, brings joy to those around him, and persists in his endeavors long after others would have given up. Marco has invited classmates to visit him in Rome at every class event since the freshman mixer. That's almost half a century of invitations, and it was only after the successful 40th reunion, held online and largely over Zoom, that a few of us said to ourselves, "Hmmm, let's find out if Marco is just being polite or if he really wants us to come to Rome."
In June of 2021, Susan Israel sent Marco an email. It was a very polite email but one that, as perhaps only Susan can, cut right to the chase - Hey Marco, are you serious about hosting classmates in Rome? The response from Italy was almost instant: Yesssss come to Rome! Bring everyone to Rome!. And thus the HR1981 sojourn to Roma vaulted the chasm that separates dream from reality.
Lesson #2: Palaces and Princes
This trip establishes beyond doubt that reunion organizers can never have too many friends and family who own a palace or simply happen to reside in one. In the ever-changing milieux of the third millennium, a 600-year-old palazzo may seem like something of a white elephant. That superficial take, however, would be quite wrong when it comes to reunion hosting. Whether for formal dinners, informal soirees, cultural tours, or providing storage for Prof. Mark Gluck’s inflatable kayak, you won’t regret adding some wow! to your event with a few well-situated palazzos. Lovingly maintained and stuffed with original masterworks, nothing else says “welcome to our town” and “we appreciate you being here” like a palazzo. Although it also helps to have a polo farm with a clubhouse if you can also work that into the mix.
Of the many Roman palaces visited by the class, none impressed more than the Palazzo Colonna. What made that one so special? For some, it may have been the original cannon ball fired by Napoleon’s artillery still embedded in the marble floor of the long gallery. For others, it might have been the 2000 year old busts of Roman emperors lining the halls. For yet others, it might have been the paintings and frescoes done by a hall-of-fame selection of great renaissance artists. But for me, and I might add, for my wife, the factor that put Palazzo Colonna “over the top” was the unexpected arrival in the middle of our tour of the current Prince of Colonna and his strikingly handsome bachelor son.
Americans don’t meet many princes, and indeed, this was a first-of-its-kind event for both me and my wife. At the same time, with a major in Modern European History, I came to the encounter with some expectations in the way of princely behavior and manners. And indeed this guy was the real deal! So gracious! He put us all at ease with his open bearing, his friendly greeting, and his subdued, confident, and strangely authoritative voice. It is perhaps unnecessary to add that both Prince and son were impeccably dressed. Later that evening, I asked my wife about our conversation with the Prince and her response was, “Yes, that guy had it!” Exactly what “it” was I was afraid to ask but it seems to be the very same “it” that Marco has.
Of course, this report is about instructive lessons for reunion planners, not the magnetically attractive qualities of Italian aristocrats, and the bottom line on the former is: if you are fortunate enough in your event planning to have a choice of palazzos, and on top of that, you’re even more fortunate to be offered access to a palace with a real, live prince, then jump all over it. That’s a recipe for a reunion memory that will last a good long time.
Lesson #3: Lodging Options
At some point early on, Marco brought John Hansen into our planning discussions, and it wasn't long before John was playing a leadership role in the proceedings. This points to another important takeaway for future reunion planners: in addition to ready access to renaissance palaces, it really “greases the skids” if a member of your planning team has ownership in a handful of lovely, boutique hotels in your chosen destination. In this instance, John Hansen brought to our event five properties, all centrally located in Rome and close to the various palazzos. You can learn more about them here: www.romeluxurysuites.com As for lessons learned: keep in mind that all it takes is one Hilton or Hyatt on your team (heck even a Marriott will suffice) to add that special zing to a far-flung event.
Lesson #4: Entertainment
Frankly, reunions can sometimes be awkward, even when taking place in gorgeous surroundings. After one has remarked on the genitals of the classical nude in the hallway, and then joked about the hidden stairway to the duke’s boudoir, conversation can sometimes start to flag. And that’s why wise reunion planners arrange well in advance, and often at great cost, for a cadre of experienced entertainers to provide an orchestrated selection of music, humor, and heartfelt speeches as and when they are required.
In this particular case, however, we the HR1981 Rome event planning team failed to do this. We naively imagined that literally palatial venues, copious amounts of fine wine and equally fine cuisine, and a strict dress code for men would suffice to fill any programmatic needs. However, as luck (or perhaps it was the Harvard admissions office of 1976) would have it, the skills and talents needed to provide entertainment were readily available among our attending classmates, and several of these simply stepped forward to fill the gap.
Robert Merrill had called ahead to Rome and arranged for a skilled piano player to play at our dinners. Then he set himself up as master of ceremonies and enlisted classmates Russ Gershon, Steve Zelinger and others to contribute their musical talents. For heartfelt speeches, we turned to Ami Halikman (Janai-Ami) and Bruce Hochstadt who had arrived in Rome with thoughtful presents of a personal nature for our hosts. Lastly, our MC Robert enlisted Mike Reiss to regale the crowd with his off-the-cuff observations, and in no time, Mike had insulted the nation of Italy, Europeans in general, both our hosts, and even Robert himself. It was hilarious. Although there’s a sub-lesson here for humorists: if you go after John Hansen at the Thursday night dinner, it might be prudent to skip dinner with John on Friday night.
In the end, the lesson regarding entertainment at 1981 class reunions is “one or the other.” Either, plan long and hard to provide a quality of entertainment befitting palatial surroundings or kick back and just let it happen. With this class, it’s your choice.
Lesson #5: Gratitude
Long before any of us arrived in Rome, discussions started concerning a suitable thank-you gift for Marco and John. It wasn’t easy to come up with ideas. What do you give a man who owns a polo farm and counts princes among his good friends? Don’t look for a punchline here. Seriously, it was a conundrum.
Then Yvonne Turner-Johnson stepped forward and helpfully suggested we just ask Marco and John. Although promising in its simplicity and boldness, this approach turned out to be a dead end. The answer that came back was: “a warm hug.” However, Yvonne is not easily dissuaded, and she consulted with her friend and classmate Brenda Sparks-Prescott. It will be evident to many classmates that this was an inspired choice for a consultation; our Rome event was not Brenda’s first rodeo of a how-to-say-thank-you nature. After more discussion with Marco and John, a donation page in honor of our hosts was set up on the website of The Susan G. Komen Foundation to Defeat Breast Cancer.
With some extra-special assistance from David Blumberg, of both the “rah-rah” and $$ kind, and the generosity of many others in our group, the HR1981 attendees collectively said “thank you” to Marco and Flaminia and John and Katie with a whopping $19,810 gift to Komen. (Cool number, eh? It was David’s idea!) Now that’s a thank-you gift to be cherished.
That’s All Folks
There's so much more that should be mentioned: the BBQ at Marco's Polo Farm, the dinners, lunches, and tours arranged by classmates. Prof. Mark Gluck's lecture on aging gracefully which you can see here: Gluck Lecture
And there was much more... but I'll leave it off here.
Five simple lessons for future reunion planners.
Remarkable hosts
Sumptuous palaces (with a prince if you can get one)
Fine hotels
Headliner talent
Extraordinary generosity
With this short and humble recipe, I believe any of us can pull off a reunion event filled with unforgettable memories.
For more information about HR1981 in Rome including a list of attendees and photos/videos, see our event website here: https://sites.google.com/view/hr1981rome
Best wishes and see you all again soon. Pasadena anyone?
Joe McDonough '81